Day 10 - Mood: Mixed Emotions

So circuit finals just ended last night. I have been in Vegas since Thursday. It wasn't your typical Vegas trip, this was a busy weekend packed with 3 rodeo performances in two days and a lot of traveling on my part. Luckily, I didn't have to keep my horses in those tiny South Point stalls which were also very pricey! Michelle LeMaster was kind enough to put up our ponies for a few days :-) Thanks Michelle, you rock!


So, let me begin where I left off. Round two at Odessa. I rode Spy man in the slack again. He was feeling good and he was off to great start, but for some reason his hind end got stuck in the ground and he popped up out of the turn. That definitely cost us, but he went on with the run.  He was trying so hard to make up for lost time that he wrapped the second too tight and pulled it down leaving. The third was quick and we ended up with a 14.5, which was wicked fast for having the issue at the first. Spy feels like he is in tip top shape and actually putting more run into his pattern. I am very proud of him. 


Shelby had a great second run in Odessa, but she two over wrapped her second to drag it down. She was going to be a 14.4 I believe. So, we packed up our things on Wednesday morning after the 2nd go slack and headed to Buckeye. Taylor drove with us, and it was nice to have him by my side again. We spent the night in Buckeye and left for Vegas in the morning. 


My first run at circuit finals was Friday evening. My nerves where high because Angel was my mount of choice for these runs and I hadn't swung a leg over her since the Thanksgiving race in Buckeye in November because of her tie-up episode. So here I was, shaking in my boots and poor miss Angel was cool and calm as could be. We went out there (3rd on the ground) and smoked off a first turn. Going to the second I felt like she leaned on me so we got in a leaning battle which resulted in us stopped dead in our tracks to then skip around the second barrel. The third was similar to the second. We ran a 17.1 to place 6th in the go. Wow, I thought to myself if I am making such huge mistakes and still clocking, I can only imagine when we are smooth. The second go was a little smoother at the 2nd and third, but by no means what a bystander would deem as a "good looking" run. She over wrapped her second, but this time he clocked a 16.6. FYI there were only like 3 16.5's all weekend. I would have won third in the go. I was tickled to know that she was again at that speed with HUGE bobbles.  Go round 3 was meant to be the golden ticket. She ran in the arena faster than before and just as she was leaving the first the ground gave and she went down just in her front legs. My mind told me to pull up, but she fought me so on we went. I had a second and third turn I had been waiting for all weekend, not perfect but 200% better and atleast we kept forward motion. We crossed the line at a 17.0! Can you imagine where that little girl of mine would have run on the clock without the fall. 


So here is where my mixed feelings come in....I know I have found an amazing, everything-I-could-ask-for mare, and I know she is going to be a star, but I hated spending my first circuit finals in such a foul way. I wish it could have been the fairytale finals I always dreamt of, but like all my friends are saying, maybe God has bigger and better plans for us. I read a message from my new friend Carrie, who I purchased Angel from. She recalled to me her first circuit finals where she hit barrels all three rounds (not on Miss Angel) and came back the following year to win it. I can only hope to have a cool story like that to pass on to someone else someday struggling emotionally like I was this weekend. 


Now my mom, my sister, Taylor and everyone have left. I am spending the night here in Vegas before I head out to Denver, or at least half way to Denver tomorrow. I am not going to lie, I cried like a baby when everyone left. This was the first time I can ever recall being away from all of my family for a month or more. I can only hope they can come visit me in Tucson at the end of February. Gosh, that seems so far away. I can only imagine how home sick I will be when I lay down tonight in my trailer, with no mom, no sis, no Tay, no Stanley, just nobody :-( I have to remember, like Tay always reminds me, why I am doing this. I am doing this because it is what I love to do. I need to not make it my job, nor rely on winning for justification for my choices. I love this sport and I can only hope this will be all I do for as long as I so choose. 


Well, I have spent enough time in this Vegas Starbucks for tonight. Thanks for listening my friends. I love and miss you all. Thanks for the encouraging messages and calls. I will be back in a few days maybe after my first run in Denver to give another update. Goodnight and God Bless - Bailey.